Gregg Patterson: The Magic Elixir
People here in Southern California are devotees of “good health”. They wax poetic about hot yoga, Zen retreats and vile tasting, gluten free, macro biotic, “certified organic”, kale based, “ugly as sin but guaranteed to purge your toxins” uber-fashionable blended libations.
Yet these Good Health Enthusiasts NEVER mention the good health virtues of GOLF and the “Magic Elixir” delivered with every swing on every hole at every club on every day. Fact is, these characters snicker, smile and chuckle at the very mention of golf as The Deliverer of long term, big picture, broad spectrum GOOD HEALTH and happiness.
And it makes me droopy and poopy knowing that we who BELIEVE aren’t standing on our soap boxes and preaching to the cynical and the dismissive about “The Healthy Why” of Golf, don’t upend their bowl of macro biotic gooey goop and smack ‘em in the noggin with The Truth about The Big Picture Health benefits of the golfing experience!!!
It goes without saying that I’m a BELIEVER in golf as a deliverer of physical, mental and emotional “good health”. I’m convinced—golf delivers “more vitamins per dollar” than the competition. I’m convinced—golf is the Magic Elixir we need to defeat The Maladies of Modernity.
We who believe need talking points to smack down the unbelievers, to bring The Good Health Message to the masses.
Fellow Preachers, prime yourselves with——The Message!
Golf Delivers—“Back to Nature” Good Health
There’s no air conditioned, de-humidified, designer certified gym anywhere that can re-create a “re-creational” experience one seventieth as glorious as that delivered by the great outdoors. Golf serves up “Back to Nature” good health, the sort of joyous, uplifting, transcendent experience that comes from breathing fresh air, smelling cut grass, soaking up the rain or wrastlin’ with gators.
Golf Delivers—“My Body Just Got a Workout” Good Health
It’s a fact—walking eighteen holes is as good for Physical Good Health as running a five “K” race, rowing two miles or climbing El Capitan (almost!). Count the calories burned during a golf workout— yoga stretch at the starter’s desk, four hour bag carry, multi-mile walk, bunker crawls, stream crossings, yoga stretch when it’s over, “elbow workout” in the bar, hundred yard dash to the car (hmmm). Talk about a work out! Talk about good health!
Golf Delivers—“What a Howl” Good Health
People who laugh are healthier than people who don’t. Most players play golf laughably, and if they see their shortcomings as a hoot, with laughter as a “bonding opportunity” (as psychologists tell us it is!!!), they’ll be ingesting a huge dollop of “What a Howl” good health whenever they play.
Golf Delivers—“I Escaped the Madness” Good Health
The world is filled with chaos. Traffic jams. E-mail. Voice-mail. Snail mail. Bitches. Moans. Break-downs. Golf is an escape—exiting the traffic, into the clubhouse, meet with friends, onto the fairway—“the world” evaporates. You’ve escaped and have discovered—golf is the antidote for the madness of modernity.
Golf Delivers—“I Love Spending Time with My Family” Good Health
A healthy family plays together and stays together. Golf delivers Family Good Health when the kids walk the course with Mamma and Pappa, carry their clubs and eat their burgers and dogs—together!—in the clubhouse. Golf becomes the “common experience” shared by the entire family—and “shared experience” is the foundation of Family Good Health.
Golf Delivers—“Talk Time” Good Health
Healthy people need relationships and community. Relationships and community are built on “talk time” with those relationships and that community. Golf delivers “talk time” opportunities and the social good health that talk time delivers—“talk time” in the locker room, “talk time” on the first tee, “talk time” while playing, “talk time” in the “debrief lounge”, “talk time” on the ride home, and “talk time” post-play over the phone, on the net, around the dinner table and near the water cooler at work. People who have good people to meet with and talk to, who have a “community of talkers” to engage with, are lots healthier than the “verbally challenged” but “digitally connected” of the world.
Golf Delivers—“Bump Into Others You Know” Good Health
Loneliness is corrosive, a demon that infects and corrupts and turns good health into bad. People need people, people who they know and people who know them. Golf delivers “Bump into Others You Know” Good Health opportunities. Golf delivers serendipitous “meetings” with dozens of people—-with the gardener who talks to you about weeds; with Front Desk Sue who gives you the “hello” and “what have you been up to”; with the retirees who sit around and moan about “the way it was”; with the pro in the pro shop; with members on the first tee; with the greens keeper who waves, the marshal who shouts and the waitress who serves you the burger. Lots of unplanned “bump into others” opportunities that deliver gobs of “Bump Into Others You Know” good health buzz.
Golf Delivers—“Connect and Reflect” Good Health
People who reflect on what they’re doing, did do or want to do are healthier than those who let the demons grow and fester, infecting their psyches, corrupting their good health. A round of golf delivers four hours of “reflective opportunity” with friends and family, with mentors and followers, with the educated and the successful. Connecting and reflecting with interesting people helps purge the detritus that litters our lives and infects our spirits.
Golf Delivers—“I’m In Control—and Done Good” Good Health
People who have “psychic good health” get things done—they start and finish projects, have control throughout, appreciate the complexity of what needs doing and find satisfaction in knowing that some of what was done was “done good”. Golf is hugely satisfying—and healthy—because the golfer’s entirely responsible for what gets done, for choosing the club, gripping the weapon and whacking the ball. They make “golf happen.” And being “in control” in an “out of control” world is hugely healthy.
Golf Delivers—“We Teamed Up and Defeated the Enemy” Good Health
In the face of a “common enemy”, people pull together and get healthier, win or lose, because they’re a TEAM, a tribe, out to spank the competition. Golf provides a foursome the opportunity to team up to defeat the golf course—and, win or lose, they FEEL GOOD, healthier, a band of brothers.
Golf Delivers—“I Just Love Doing This” Good Health
For many who visit the gym, good health is WORK. Weights—ugh. Treadmill—ugh. Push-ups—ugh. Healthy, yes—but there’s no “I just love doing this” expressed by the pushers and the pullers, the spinners and the grunters. Golf, by contrast, delivers The Whole Package—physical, mental and emotional—and the people who play, SMILE!!! They laugh. They glow. They feel The Buzz. And whenever you do something you LOVE, good health happens.
Get Thee to the Golf Course
Good health is the foundation of The Good Life. Without Good Health you’ll be an underperforming boobie, fated to make less, enjoy less, absorb less, enlarge less and enrich less than the character who’s got The Goods.
Modernity gives us lots of ways of climbing the good health mountain. The gym. Ugh. The macro-biotic juice bar. Ugh. The grapefruit diet. Ugh.
Golf delivers Broad Spectrum Good Health—efficiently. Golf is “The Drug of Choice”, the “Magic Elixir” for curing what ails us.
So if you know someone who’s looking for a single “Good Health Investment,” whack ‘em in the side of the head and deliver The Message about the virtues of GOLF.
Go golfing. Get healthy. Feel the glow.
Spread the word.
And enjoy the journey————–
