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FEATURE: The Seven Deadlies by Gregg Patterson

POSTED ON November 22, 2023 @ 4:37 pm

Gregg PattersonJuicy and Delicious

Novels are a treat to read and movies are a joy to watch. And the juiciest stories and the juiciest cinema often focus on weakness, temptations, human foibles and—The Seven Deadlies.

Sloth. Gluttony. Wrath. Envy. Pride. Greed. Lust.

Biblical stuff. Endlessly entertaining. Fun to read, to watch, to talk about.

And avoid!

Many who fell in love with Clubdom did so after experiencing the sobering, humdrum, routine world of “Jobdom”, workplaces filled with the boring, the routine and the predictable. Those “who-experienced-the-humdrum” remember failed first-date conversations de-energized by the telling of boring stories about boring stuff that happened during a boring work day.

These frustrated workers wanted MORE from their jobs—more interesting, more memorable, more engaging—but knew not where or what.

Sometimes these “worker-bees-who-wanted-more” get exposed to CLUBS. And what they saw and heard was endlessly entertaining. They discovered that CLUBS delivered MORE than the money, more than the Mercedes, more than the wood paneled office. They discovered that a day in clubdom delivered WILD and ENTERTAINING stories that made “outside-of-work” social encounters more engaging, more successful, more FUN and more memorable.

Those who love clubdom are drawn to clubdom, stay in clubdom and trumpet clubdom because they want to hear, see and chatter about entertaining stories that are the stuff of novels and movies—every day. Comedy routines. Morality tales. Tragedies. “Oh-my” situations featuring The Seven Deadlies.

These Club Enthusiasts tell their friends who are crunching numbers, analyzing spread sheets and living the “ho-hum” that clubdom is a HOWL because they—as club employees—have a front row seat to a daily showing of The Seven Deadlies.

Delicious!!!

Comedy Central

Let’s imagine you’re writing a Sit-Com about clubdom with a focus on The Seven Deadlies. Entertaining. Educational. Generating guffaws. Making the madness a hoot. Let’s walk around, listen in, take our notes and prepare to write!

Gluttony. We take a peek at the menu, scan the dining room and ponder what sells. There’s good stuff to be had—low cholesterol, low caloric, environmentally conscious. Proud that we’ve addressed those expanding waistlines. And then we discover that the Big Evils—grease, salt and sugar!—are the big sellers. Guaranteed to clog the arteries, add inches to the waistline and shorten life—and bring a smile to the diners who’ve gathered!

Pride. We pass through the men’s locker room and listen. We see members beating their chests, telling their guests how tough it is to join, how much it costs, why the wine list is forty pages long and why no members ever resign and no staff ever leave. We hear it said time and again——this is US, and US is good, the BEST, unique and special. World class!

Envy. You overhear the grill room conversation. “Club XYZ has a bigger pool than we’ve got, club ABC has more sand traps than we’ve got and the High and Mighty Club costs ten zillion dollars to join. We’re nobodies ‘cause we ain’t got nothin’ that compares with all the stuff that the others have got. GRRR!!!”

Lust. You pass through the ladies card room. See the Blue Hairs sipping bourbon on the rocks, playing bridge for Big Bucks, quietly reflecting on annoying grandkids and nouveau riche newbies who “don’t measure up”. Then the new waiter arrives, ready to serve, tall, well-groomed and impeccably dressed, an intern from Hospitality U. They give him a glance—or two—as he wanders about picking up empties, offering drinks, smiling, laughing and talking to everyone. He leaves. They sigh, give each other The LOOK and say “if only I was sixty years younger and my blue hair was brown.”

Wrath. Friday night dinner. Busy beyond busy. Mr. Corporate Cheese has a table filled with corporate cheeses talking corporate talk. The wine steward arrives, bottle in hand from The Special Cellar. With a flourish, he shows the bottle to The Big Cheeses, quietly compliments the host on the selection, pulls the cork, gives it a look, a squeeze and a sniff, smiles and pours a taster portion for The Big Cheese. The host swirls, sniffs, tastes, grimaces and pronounces—LOUDLY—that the vino is undrinkable, an insult to The Big Cheeses at the table, insists on a FREE replacement, a groveling apology from the General Manager and a written “I’m so very, very sorry” note from the President of the Club.

Sloth. You wander into the Locker Room lounge, early morning, mid-week. The youthful Coupon Clipper is sitting there in front of the “tube”, belching, drink in hand, three donuts on the table, debris all around (newspapers, wrappers, paper napkins), eyes glazed, staring at the tele, calories collecting, patting his bulging belly. Far Niente. Doing nothing—endlessly and forever. Complaining about the worthless no-good-for-nothing younger generation.

Wonderful stuff. Fun. Entertaining. A HOWL!!!

Teaching Tools

We savor and repeat The Stories that are juicy and delicious because they’re BOTH entertaining and educational. We ponder The Seven Deadlies to dramatize the values needed to preserve us from The Madness.

Stories are told to titillate and teach. Each one a cautionary tale about the temptations that are simmering in each of us, ready to burst forth and burn us in hell fire. People remember the stories and absorb the message without having to memorize a list of the do’s and don’ts.

People love to hear about others who do, have done or are witness to—The Seven Deadlies. They love to glimpse, condemn, comment on, gossip about, laugh at and philosophize about The Seven Deadlies. They love to wag their fingers at The Deadlies, bemoan their existence, caution others to avoid ‘em—and talk endlessly about them.

We use the stories as an ethics class, a morality tale, a roadmap for the good life. We know The Seven Deadlies are hidden away in each of us, ready to spring forth to corrupt, diminish and cut our careers short.

If a manager lives “The Seven Deadlies” they’ll get burned BAD. If, however, a club professional sees The Seven Deadlies, ponders the bad they represent and the good they suggest, insights will arrive and learning will happen. Knowing and avoiding The Seven Deadlies will help the GM live a long and HAPPY professional life!

Those who love clubdom are voyeurs of The Seven Deadlies. Juicy stories. Great conversation. Educational lessons. Endlessly entertaining. Delicious.

YUMMM!!!

Start Writing!

Clubdom delivers GREAT stuff for a skit, a video, a novel or a “listen-to-this-and-learn-about-clubdom” story for new employees, staff meetings and first dates. Those-who-hear will remember the stories, absorb the lessons and be entertained in the process.

Club enthusiasts have observed The Seven Deadlies—LOTS. They’ve seen lots, laughed lots, ugh-ed lots, discussed lots and cautioned lots about the Human Condition, the hidden madness in each of us and the values needed to wrassle with The Seven Deadlies.

Stockpile your stories. Think like a writer, movie director or teacher. What novel would you write? What movie would you direct? What lessons in “right behavior” will you deliver?

Distance yourself from The Seven Deadlies———-but gather the stories.

Start telling.

And enjoy the journey——————–

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